I'm not handicaped, I'm just LAZY!

I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof?!

There's a *NEW* Mexico?!?

I'm telling you ociffer, I'm not drunk!

Dain Bramaged.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken

I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect!

Reality: An illusion due to lack of alcohol.

[Roses are red, Violets Are blue, When god gave brains, Where the hell where you ]

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

[When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you]

-=Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!!=-

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance!

[I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!]

Dont steal, the government hates competition!

Yes.. It was I who let the dogs out!

Don't drink and drive, you could spill the drink in your car!

[2 + 2 = 5] for extremely large values of 2.

My cat's name is mittens!

Roses r red Violets r blue God made me beautiful But what the hell did he do to you!

Act your age, not your shoe size!

God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!

~*~What happens if you get scared half to death 2 timez?~*~

Dig a lil hole Planet a lil seed Grow a lil tree Smoke a lil weed

You cant have everything, Where would u put it?

You were so cute as a baby... what happened?!?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!

I'm knot dumb!

My door is always open so feel free to leave

This DOG is a good DOG way DOG to keep an fool DOG busy DOG. Read this again without DOG.

Be selfish just once... If your upset, take someone elses life instead of your own!

I thought that I could love no other. Until, that is, I met ur brother!

I love ur smile and ur eyes...Damn im good at telling lies!

I'd Get Up And Do Something With Myself, But I'd Rather Stay In Bed!

My darling my love, my beautiful wife. Marrying you screwed up my life :S

Why do our noses run and our feet smell?!?!

Those are my principles. If you don't like them... I have others.

You may be only young once, but you can be immature forever!

I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder!

Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck

(8)roll roll roll ur joint, gently down the line, take a toke, inhale dat smoke, and blow ur friggin mind!(8)

Damn right I'm good in bed i can sleep for hours!

Now that I have a gun...u may run or hide

Knowledge Is Knowing That A Tomato Is A Fruit, Wisdom Is Not Putting It In A Fruit Salad.

God made elfs God made deers God made u such a queer

Im not crazy, ask mr bunny and mrs dodo here

If u want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen

In jail u get food, in jail u get tea, in jail u get anything but... the KEY!

I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed... 2 scare away the mice!

I tought u were crazy, now i c ur nuts!

DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF!

Life's a game. FISHING IS SERIOUS!

Be kool.. Dont go to school

Silence is Golden.. But Shouting IS fun!

It Worries Me How Dumb You Are

Roll roll roll your joint, twist down the end, take a puff thats enough, pass it to a friend!

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it!

This took AGES to write There soo funneh =]